David Leventhal

Today while I enjoyed a cup of African Red Bush tea I finished Just Courage by Gary Haugen.   There were a couple of paragraphs at the end that I really connected with as it relates to this whole Africa thing.  Haugen discusses the time he left the U.S. Department of Justice to start International Justice Mission & the fear that accompanied that decision.  He writes,

Now at the very threshold of all I had prayed and worked for, I was suddenly feeling very nervous.  Indeed, the demand that I actually cut loose my career forced me to confront what I really believed about this adventure, and to confront my fears.  What was I really afraid of?  As I thought about it, I feared humiliation.  If my little justice ministry idea didn’t work, no one was going to die.  If IJM turned out to be a bad idea and collapsed, my kids weren’t going to starve.  We’d probably just have to live with my parents for a while until I could find another job, but with my education, odds are I would soon find a job.  The fact is, I would be greatly embarrassed.  Having told everybody about my great idea, they would know that it was a bad idea or that I was a bad leader.  Either way, it would be humiliating. (pg. 129)

Therein lies the crux of so much of this decision to uproot & move to Africa.  This is the primary reason that for the last couple of weeks I was stuck on “I’m 98% sure we’re going.”  Thankfully, the Lord has expanded my range to where I’m now at 100% – very much excited but still mixed with some fear & trepidation.